Tomorrow is New Years Eve, giving us that much needed time to reflect, with thankfulness, for the year we’ve just travelled (and boy, it was a quite a year, right?) . Maybe you’re wondering what on earth you could find to be thankful for given the health and economic devastation? True, we do need to acknowledge the loss and pain. But gratitude for the good we experienced (and it will be there … Pollyanna taught us that in the Glad Game ☺) helps us to process the year with perspective and once again we can embrace that wonderful feeling of being able to let go of the year before and then embrace the year ahead. I guess some people may be a bit jaded by the thought of the possibility of making any changes as the expected New Year resolutions, and understandably so. How many of us have made New Year resolutions and after a few weeks, even days, we’ve effectively ‘failed’ at the intention and slipped back into our old ways of thinking and feeling? Is it ok to give up and just accept who we are? In some ways, of course, it is. Many people really do need to accept and love who they are, as being unhappy with yourself really won’t bring about any lasting change that you desire. Accepting who you are RIGHT NOW is incredibly important and then needing to make some positive change out of that place of acceptance and self love is far more likely to bring about the change that you desire for yourself.

A few years ago I did a 7 step series on how to make the changes you really want to experience for yourself, and I think “keeping it simple” is so important ( I’ve attached a link to that below). Many of our New Year Resolutions over state what we want to achieve, in that we don’t realise that the person we need to be to fulfil those changes needs some coaching on how to be the person who actually does those things … who lives that life … who has those habits! You’ve probably spent many years conditioning yourself to live and act in a certain way, so embracing change is going to take a combination of surrender and letting go of the old way of being AND not only planning for the changes you want to make but also planning a strategy for what you’re going to do when you start to self sabotage and slip back into your old ways of being. We often make goals and decisions about what we want to achieve without planning for the days when we DON’T want to ‘do the plan’. Feeling bad about it is a waste of energy, so please don’t feel bad! Everything and every experience is just good knowledge to have about ourselves … it’s a necessary aspect of life and our continued growth. For change to occur we usually need 3 things:

• Move towards pleasure
• Move away from pain
• Inspiration out ways both of the above!!

We need to want to change because the pleasure and happiness we will experience after we have changed motivates us to change, or the pain of staying the same as we were motivates us to make the change. Of course sometimes we feel too comfortable so the pain of staying how we are isn’t enough for us to change. Maybe we need to sit and think about who and how we will be 5 or 10yrs down the line IF we haven’t made the change and really feel the pain of THAT possibility to then motivate us. It’s a sobering thought! Of course the nicest way to change is to be inspired, but even then you’re going to have to face your subconscious who is used to you living a certain way and is there to serve YOU! For instance, if you decide you want to get up earlier to exercise in the morning your subconscious is there to serve you and make sure you are comfortable. As soon as you attempt to get up earlier your subconscious will say “hey, wait a minute, what are you doing? This feels uncomfortable … maybe you should go back to bed for another half an hour like you normally do … that would feel alot better, right?” Your subconscious is trying to do what it thinks YOU want, and it will take time to train your subconscious your new normal. Mel Robbins talks about the:

Five Second Rule

You have 5 seconds to make the change before your subconscious talks you out of it! If you need to get up earlier, as soon as the alarm goes off then you count down …

5,4,3,2,1

Then get up and move! If you stay past this time then your subconscious will talk you out of it! You can use the 5 second rule for any activity that you find difficult to do. If you’re procrastinating then say …

5,4,3,2,1

And then take action! Keep it Simple! Putting yourself under pressure will never bring about the lasting change you so desire. If you try and fail then that’s ok! You’ve just learnt how NOT to do it! The answer is ultimately within you but maybe you need some help for the journey! The help is out there and tomorrows a new day! Have a a Happy New Year friends, whatever the circumstances. Lots of love and blessings and I’ll see you in 2021, Samantha xx