Throughout most of my life I have been waiting for the moment when I will spread my wings and fly, and I’ve longed so desperately for it! I see so many people around me displaying their beauty as they appear to embrace their gifting either through work, hobbies, family or calling, as I seemingly continue to stumble through life wondering if I’ll ever discover what my thing (or gift) is. Have you ever felt like that? When you move into the 2nd half of life (after 50) then you can begin to lose hope of ever finding it. We often look to the day when we will arrive at the thing that we were created to do, not realising that the journey WAS the thing! Of course in reality life has never really been about what you did or what you achieved, or about material gain, although some do have that as their measure for success and happiness.

Life’s journey has always been the thing that we were supposed to appreciate and notice all those moments of wonder and blessing, even amidst the painful and confusing times. To transform into the butterfly that spreads its wings and flies we have to do the slow, often painful journey of first being the caterpillar. The caterpillar is us when we feel like we’re getting nowhere fast and often consuming and taking on board knowledge and experiences that seem to fill us so full that we can barely lift our heads to see anything but the step in front of us. On that journey, if we’re wise, we’ll sometimes stop, reflect and shed our skin and rid ourselves of anything that we know is not helping our journey, whether it’s habits or negative and limiting beliefs we have about ourselves.

Then we arrive at that place where we go into our chrysalis (cocoon) and start to change. That place of transformation can seem dark and lonely at times and at other times feel safe and soothing. But the transformation to another version of yourself is a struggle and very often involves pain, heart ache and not a little bit of confusion. It seems to take forever and can be exhausting, so it’s essential that time is taken whereby we simply rest in our cocoon, stop kicking and fighting to get out of it, and know that something good is happening within all of that struggle even if we can’t see it at the time. They say that if you see a butterfly wriggling and struggling to get out of the cocoon and you try to help it by cutting the chrysalis and setting it free it can die as the process of transformation hasn’t been completed. So friends and family can’t really get us out of our struggle either, as much as we’d like them to, and conversely we can’t get them out of theirs. We can support each other of course and be a shoulder to cry on and a listening ear when someone needs to talk. We can help them in practical ways, but in general we all have to go through our struggles and know that that is a part of life. Yes I know, it really does suck at times, and it often doesn’t seem fair. Some seem to go through far more difficulties than others don’t they? And maybe you’re one of those, and if that’s the case then I feel for you and I’m holding a gentle space of kindness for you, and that’s what you need to do for yourself. Hold yourself in a space of love and kindness and say,

One day this too will pass, and my time will come. The cocoon will open and I will emerge more beautiful and vibrant than I ever could have imagined and I will fly ~ yes ~ I will fly!

So please don’t give up and die in that cocoon before your transformation has been complete as some butterflies sadly do. There are a number of reasons why that can happen. They could be too cold … they could have a parasite … the skin of the chrysalis can be dried out. We can again see the parallels in our own lives can’t we? Our difficult experiences can cause us to harden our hearts and become indifferent and cold. We can become infected by a parasitical thought process that eats away at our well-being, or we can simply stop nourishing and caring for ourselves. Let’s not end this blog on that note! I want you to know that I understand how difficult life can be and how tempting it is to give up or do something self destructive as a result of the struggle. But keep going!! I will, if you will, ok? 🧡

Sending you lots of love and blessings, and I look forward to seeing you next week,

Sam xx