Welcome back! Last week we introduced the concept of hedonic adaptation which is when you have achieved or received something (or someone) you really wanted and you were super happy when it happened. It felt like all your Christmas’s had come at once and you were over the moon!!!

• You got the job you really wanted
• You got into the University or College of your choice
• The girl said “yes” when you asked her to marry you OR
• The man you love asks you to marry him
• You finally lost the weight you were trying so hard to lose
• You won the lottery or came into some money
• You bought the house you dreamed of
• You bought the car you always wanted

The list could be pretty long and I’m sure you have situations that you can reflect on whereby you had this kind of experience? You feel WONDERFUL!!!!

After a while you start to adapt to your circumstances and suddenly you find yourself feeling fed up and bored. Sometimes you can even feel depressed. In the words of Bruce Almighty …

I’ll have a side order of GUILT please

You then add guilt and feelings of shame to your plate! I mean, it’s not like you have anything to moan about right? You’re not living in a slum! You’re not worried about where your next meal is going to come from (unless you are, of course). You have a roof over your head and clean clothes to wear. Why on earth am I feeling this way, you wonder? I mean, I got what I always wanted, right?

The problem is we have some, what Laurie Santos a Professor from Yale University calls, annoying features in our minds that we’re often not aware of. Some of these annoying features are …

1. Our minds don’t think in terms of absolutes. For example, you might think that absolutely this would be a great house, a great opportunity, enough money etc BUT our minds judge relative to reference points. ie. you see what others have and judge according to that.
2. Our minds strongest intuitions are often wrong. ie. what we THINK will make us happy, often doesn’t.
3. Our minds are built to get used to things. ie. hedonic adaptation.
4. We don’t realise that this is the case!!!

So what can we do about this? Well, one way of addressing this is to invest in experiences rather than things. Experiences are generally not with us long enough to cause hedonic adaptation, so make sure you bring some variety into your life.

• Book a holiday
• Go for a walk in nature and REALLY appreciate your surroundings
• Go sky diving
• Learn how to ride a horse
• Book some cookery lessons
• Join an art class
• Take dance lessons
• Go out for coffee with a friend
• Go kayaking
• Climb a mountain
• Go to pottery class

There are so many activities that you could do and they don’t all cost money. You just need to be creative and take the first step. In terms of every day living, the best way to counteract hedonic adaptation is by being grateful. The happiest people in the world are the most grateful. They have learnt to be grateful for what they have and express gratitude to those they love. If we look for the good in people and situations we will often find it. The trouble is, we are often focusing on the not so good, or not so perfect and this will always leaving us wanting. Wanting what we haven’t got and remember our intuitions are not ALWAYS right!! Just because you’re wanting something it doesn’t mean it will make you happy. Focussing on what you DO have and being grateful for the good in your life will bring you more long term happiness.

So, enjoy finding the good in your life this week and consider booking in something new or trying a new activity.

Many blessings, Sam xx