Posted on by samanthajordan5222

Truth

We’re 5 weeks into lent and whether we chose to follow this Liturgical Season or not, the principle of having an annual time to pause and reflect and discover where we are at in life is still an important principle & practice. A meaningful time of contemplation. A time to be honest with ourselves and have the courage to explore the solitude & silence within, and hold a space of kindness and acceptance of self, when we are faced with the deep truths of who we are. But how do we know that what we are discovering within during that solitude & silence is the truth? It seems that Truths can be viewed as subjective and saying the words …

This is my truth

might not be truth at all! It could be that this is your experience and your perception of your life. It could be that your beliefs which impact the lens that you see yourself and the world through is not truth at all. Our beliefs have been developed by our life experiences, our cultures, our parenting, our education and many other things. If you feel like you’re not worth anything and you’re not good enough does that make it truth? Just because you feel it is? So are we looking at the language we’re using and the meaning behind that language?

Who dictates what it truth? What is truth is something that is true, right? True is defined as …

consistent with fact or reality … something accurate and not illusory

So the truth must be something that is accurate and factual. If you’re believing something that is disempowering, unkind, intolerant or not based in actual facts or reality then it’s NOT truth. It’s definitely not YOUR truth! It’s your perception of a situation. So let’s take some time to reflect on who we are and have the courage to be real and honest. If we notice that we consistently have thoughts that produce negative feelings towards ourselves and others then I’d question the truth of those thoughts. You may have had negative experiences, especially in relationships, in the past that have been the source of why those thoughts have developed, but doesn’t mean it’s true of everyone you meet or every situation. Sadly if we don’t face what’s within we often do repeat similar situations that leads to similar outcomes. This then can become a self-fulfilling prophecy and further supports the negative beliefs that we hold, but it still doesn’t make it TRUTH!

So take some time to pause and reflect and have the courage to be honest with yourself with a view to developing a growth mindset that leads to a happier and more fulfilled life. If you find that too difficult or painful then get in touch with me, or someone else, and get some support with this. The truth that you face may be painful but it can lead to healing and freedom, and this is what I want for YOU!

Love & blessings, Samantha

Posted on by samanthajordan5222

Trust

We’re four weeks into lent and we’re looking at the T for Trust! Like most words with themes they often have the scope for a wider reach than the often initial first look. That’s why contemplation is integral to taking the time to listen, enter & notice before reaching the doorway of trust.

Trust is a doorway that leads to a greater sense of safety and inner peace. If we trust then we don’t feel the need to control situations or other people. We have a healthy sense of self and we are not threatened by other people’s gifting or roles. We’re not looking for constant approval and validation. If we trust then we worry less and are less anxious. We can often find ourselves better able to process and face difficult situations when we’ve cultivated trust. Again, as mentioned last week, it is like a muscle that we learn to strengthen. So if over the last few weeks we have taken time to listen, enter & notice what have you noticed about who you are and the lens that you look through when you see yourself and the world around you? If you spend time contemplating the issue of trust for you where do you find yourself? Maybe you have some of these signs of having trust issues:

  • Are you always preparing for the next let down or disappointment?
  • Do you find it hard to forgive and hold grudges easily?
  • Do you find yourself isolating and being a loner as you reduce the risk of being hurt this way?
  • Do you feel like you have to do everything yourself and are quite controlling?
  • Do you find yourself often focussing on the negative?
  • Do you have a fear of intimacy and avoid feeling vulnerable?
  • Do you have commitment issues or a fear of abandonment?
  • Are you suspicious and possessive and always checking your partners phone etc?

If you have said YES to any of these then at some stage in your past something has happened to cause your trust to become damaged and these are some of the symptoms of this. It can take time to trust again but it’s so important for your wellbeing to exercise your trust as it leads to healthier and happier relationships and a greater experience of peace and joy in your life.

How can you trust again when you have been badly let down, betrayed or hurt? It’s not easy is it? We do have to have the courage to take the risk to learn to trust. It’s important to acknowledge when we do have trust issues rather than deflect them and blame others. It’s also important to keep lines of communication open with people and let them know how you’re feeling and then take the process slowly, especially when we meet someone new and haven’t yet got to know them. Sometimes individuals can trust too quickly before getting to know someone and then feel let down or disappointed by them because they moved too quickly. It’s ok taking your time to get to know someone and build a trusting relationship through communication and mutual respect & understanding.

Some people have developed deep trust issues through past trauma and they may need to seek professional support with processing what has happened in the past before they can trust again. The alternative to learning to trust again is having to live within a restrictive life full of coping mechanisms and defence mechanisms that never lead to a life of freedom, peace and fulfilment. Decide today to learn to trust again! If you don’t know where to start then consider praying and asking God for help. He created you after all and knows everything about you. Consider learning to trust this God that so many Christians have faith in. Faith is often described as:

“believing without seeing”

How can we trust what we can’t see? It might be worth talking to a Christian friend and asking them the question.

Love & blessings, Samantha

Posted on by samanthajordan5222

Listen

We’re one week into lent and I’m wondering if you’ve taken any time in silence & solitude to listen, enter, notice & trust? It needs an intentional decision otherwise our daily lives can sweep us away with all manner of distractions, and lets be honest sometimes the distractions are welcome, aren’t they? We really don’t want to stop and face how we might be feeling or thinking under the surface. But if we know deep down that something about our lives is not aligned with our core values then we need to pause and reflect. The silence can give us time to breathe ~ time to reflect ~ time to be honest with ourselves! Do we know who we are and are we happy with who we are?

This week we’re going to look at the L of Listen. The importance of listening to love. Straight away that sentence is open to interpretation. Do I mean listening so that you can hear love or do I mean listening so you can be loving to others? I think there’s room for both! Especially in light of our wellbeing. Listening is not the same as hearing! Kay Lindahl describes listening as a sacred art.

Listening encompasses much more than words. Listening is a way of being in the world.

We will experience deeper richness within our relationships with others and ourselves if we learn how to really listen. Have you ever had that experience when you’re talking to someone and you can tell they’re not really listening? Maybe they’re just waiting for their opportunity to talk, or maybe they’re not really interested. Maybe they’re struggling with something and can’t focus. I guess we can all relate to that, and we may have even been guilty of doing that ourselves. It’s a skill to really listen! We have to decide to care more about the other person. Take our thoughts off ourselves and our lives to give someone else the gift of listening. It can feel insincere at first, possibly even forced but when we decide that we’re going to give this person the gift of true attention the results can be extraordinary in our own lives and the life of the individual. By giving them this time you can create a thinking environment whereby the individual can often encounter their true selves and become clear about what their next move in life needs to be. Just by truly listening, with kindness and patience. They experience the feeling of being heard ~ being loved! We’ve listened to be loving, because we know that true love isn’t just about feelings! It’s often about a decision we make to be loving, regardless to how we feel.

Maybe you are someone who listens ALOT and you’ve reached a place where you feel as though you can’t listen any more. Maybe you’re overstretched, over-worked and exhausted. If we live or work within an environment where we are supporting others who have significant life challenges then we can develop compassion fatigue. Could that be you? Are you familiar with these symptoms:

~ increased irritability, anxiety & sadness

~ feeling helpless, powerless & overwhelmed

~ feeling detached & emotionally disconnected

~ reduced feelings of empathy & difficulty concentrating

~ neglecting yourself & having difficulty sleeping

~ withdrawal, self isolation & loss of interest in activities you used to enjoy

~ physical symptoms such as headaches, nausea, chest pain, breathlessness, pain

How can you continue to listen under these circumstances? This is where listening to yourself is so important. Don’t ignore the signs!! When we listen to our hearts and what our hearts have to say how do we interpret what we’ve heard? If our hearts are telling us that we feel helpless, hurt, misunderstood, lonely, exhausted, sad ~ what do we do with this? It’s important to acknowledge that’s how we feel. We need to be able to sit with that feeling and listen to not only our hearts but our bodies, our minds, our emotions and give ourselves permission to recover, if recovery is needed. Of course, part of our well-being is to have meaningful contributions to the community and world around us. How can we have this if we’re exhausted and burnt out?

Self care is not self centeredness, IF it’s not! Of course it can be, if YOU are all you care about!

Sounds a bit harsh but sometimes we’re really out of balance and we need to wake up and truly listen. If you do have any of the signs and symptoms above then chances are your self care needs some reprioritising and that’s ok. Give yourself permission. Only by truly listening to ourselves and others can we know who we are, what our motivations are, what our beliefs and values are and then make the necessary decisions to step into a life with meaning and fulfilment. Do you know who you are? Have you been listening?

See you next week friends x