We’re four weeks into lent and we’re looking at the T for Trust! Like most words with themes they often have the scope for a wider reach than the often initial first look. That’s why contemplation is integral to taking the time to listen, enter & notice before reaching the doorway of trust.
Trust is a doorway that leads to a greater sense of safety and inner peace. If we trust then we don’t feel the need to control situations or other people. We have a healthy sense of self and we are not threatened by other people’s gifting or roles. We’re not looking for constant approval and validation. If we trust then we worry less and are less anxious. We can often find ourselves better able to process and face difficult situations when we’ve cultivated trust. Again, as mentioned last week, it is like a muscle that we learn to strengthen. So if over the last few weeks we have taken time to listen, enter & notice what have you noticed about who you are and the lens that you look through when you see yourself and the world around you? If you spend time contemplating the issue of trust for you where do you find yourself? Maybe you have some of these signs of having trust issues:
- Are you always preparing for the next let down or disappointment?
- Do you find it hard to forgive and hold grudges easily?
- Do you find yourself isolating and being a loner as you reduce the risk of being hurt this way?
- Do you feel like you have to do everything yourself and are quite controlling?
- Do you find yourself often focussing on the negative?
- Do you have a fear of intimacy and avoid feeling vulnerable?
- Do you have commitment issues or a fear of abandonment?
- Are you suspicious and possessive and always checking your partners phone etc?
If you have said YES to any of these then at some stage in your past something has happened to cause your trust to become damaged and these are some of the symptoms of this. It can take time to trust again but it’s so important for your wellbeing to exercise your trust as it leads to healthier and happier relationships and a greater experience of peace and joy in your life.
How can you trust again when you have been badly let down, betrayed or hurt? It’s not easy is it? We do have to have the courage to take the risk to learn to trust. It’s important to acknowledge when we do have trust issues rather than deflect them and blame others. It’s also important to keep lines of communication open with people and let them know how you’re feeling and then take the process slowly, especially when we meet someone new and haven’t yet got to know them. Sometimes individuals can trust too quickly before getting to know someone and then feel let down or disappointed by them because they moved too quickly. It’s ok taking your time to get to know someone and build a trusting relationship through communication and mutual respect & understanding.
Some people have developed deep trust issues through past trauma and they may need to seek professional support with processing what has happened in the past before they can trust again. The alternative to learning to trust again is having to live within a restrictive life full of coping mechanisms and defence mechanisms that never lead to a life of freedom, peace and fulfilment. Decide today to learn to trust again! If you don’t know where to start then consider praying and asking God for help. He created you after all and knows everything about you. Consider learning to trust this God that so many Christians have faith in. Faith is often described as:
“believing without seeing”
How can we trust what we can’t see? It might be worth talking to a Christian friend and asking them the question.
Love & blessings, Samantha
Samantha Jordan TLC 