We’re one week into lent and I’m wondering if you’ve taken any time in silence & solitude to listen, enter, notice & trust? It needs an intentional decision otherwise our daily lives can sweep us away with all manner of distractions, and lets be honest sometimes the distractions are welcome, aren’t they? We really don’t want to stop and face how we might be feeling or thinking under the surface. But if we know deep down that something about our lives is not aligned with our core values then we need to pause and reflect. The silence can give us time to breathe ~ time to reflect ~ time to be honest with ourselves! Do we know who we are and are we happy with who we are?

This week we’re going to look at the L of Listen. The importance of listening to love. Straight away that sentence is open to interpretation. Do I mean listening so that you can hear love or do I mean listening so you can be loving to others? I think there’s room for both! Especially in light of our wellbeing. Listening is not the same as hearing! Kay Lindahl describes listening as a sacred art.

Listening encompasses much more than words. Listening is a way of being in the world.

We will experience deeper richness within our relationships with others and ourselves if we learn how to really listen. Have you ever had that experience when you’re talking to someone and you can tell they’re not really listening? Maybe they’re just waiting for their opportunity to talk, or maybe they’re not really interested. Maybe they’re struggling with something and can’t focus. I guess we can all relate to that, and we may have even been guilty of doing that ourselves. It’s a skill to really listen! We have to decide to care more about the other person. Take our thoughts off ourselves and our lives to give someone else the gift of listening. It can feel insincere at first, possibly even forced but when we decide that we’re going to give this person the gift of true attention the results can be extraordinary in our own lives and the life of the individual. By giving them this time you can create a thinking environment whereby the individual can often encounter their true selves and become clear about what their next move in life needs to be. Just by truly listening, with kindness and patience. They experience the feeling of being heard ~ being loved! We’ve listened to be loving, because we know that true love isn’t just about feelings! It’s often about a decision we make to be loving, regardless to how we feel.

Maybe you are someone who listens ALOT and you’ve reached a place where you feel as though you can’t listen any more. Maybe you’re overstretched, over-worked and exhausted. If we live or work within an environment where we are supporting others who have significant life challenges then we can develop compassion fatigue. Could that be you? Are you familiar with these symptoms:

~ increased irritability, anxiety & sadness

~ feeling helpless, powerless & overwhelmed

~ feeling detached & emotionally disconnected

~ reduced feelings of empathy & difficulty concentrating

~ neglecting yourself & having difficulty sleeping

~ withdrawal, self isolation & loss of interest in activities you used to enjoy

~ physical symptoms such as headaches, nausea, chest pain, breathlessness, pain

How can you continue to listen under these circumstances? This is where listening to yourself is so important. Don’t ignore the signs!! When we listen to our hearts and what our hearts have to say how do we interpret what we’ve heard? If our hearts are telling us that we feel helpless, hurt, misunderstood, lonely, exhausted, sad ~ what do we do with this? It’s important to acknowledge that’s how we feel. We need to be able to sit with that feeling and listen to not only our hearts but our bodies, our minds, our emotions and give ourselves permission to recover, if recovery is needed. Of course, part of our well-being is to have meaningful contributions to the community and world around us. How can we have this if we’re exhausted and burnt out?

Self care is not self centeredness, IF it’s not! Of course it can be, if YOU are all you care about!

Sounds a bit harsh but sometimes we’re really out of balance and we need to wake up and truly listen. If you do have any of the signs and symptoms above then chances are your self care needs some reprioritising and that’s ok. Give yourself permission. Only by truly listening to ourselves and others can we know who we are, what our motivations are, what our beliefs and values are and then make the necessary decisions to step into a life with meaning and fulfilment. Do you know who you are? Have you been listening?

See you next week friends x