Being thankful and expressing gratitude is a simple but powerful practice that can be used throughout the day to keep us centred on those things in life that we are blessed by. I know, sometimes life can feel so bad that we feel sure there is nothing TO be grateful for. So, again this is something we have to intentionally do regardless to whether we actually feel thankful or not. It will take practice! It’s also a waste of energy and soul destroying to feel bad or guilty that we don’t appear to feel grateful during difficult times. We’re even less likely to feel good about developing the practice if we invite guilt & shame on the journey, so decide for this practice that they’re not welcome, ok? So simply notice how you’re feeling and thinking and accept it is where you are at and you’ve probably got a very good reason for feeling that way. But you don’t want to continue to feel bad do you? None of us do ~ not really!  So let’s explore gratitude. Expressing gratitude can start with the word savouring:

Savouring  is the use of thoughts and actions to increase the intensity, duration, and appreciation of positive experiences and emotions and in the domain of positive psychology, It has also be referred to simply as the up-regulation of positive emotions.

or can be described:

to give flavour to; season; to have experience of; to taste or smell with pleasure; relish; to delight in … enjoy savouring the moment.

When you’re having your morning cuppa, It’s good to start the day with reflecting on and then even stating 5 things that you are grateful for. Taking a mindful moment throughout the day to savour your experiences such as eating nice food, appreciating the scenery, savouring a latte or smoothie or listening to your favourite music can help you to notice what you can be grateful for. Then before you fall asleep in bed at night affirm another 5 things that you have been grateful for throughout the day. If you have just gone through a crazy day, then watched tv and possibly drank alcohol before falling into bed exhausted then you’re likely to wake up with the same state of mind in the morning, with nothing resolved or cleared from the day before. Expressing gratitude is a simple but effective practice so don’t underestimate the power of it to bring positive change into your life.

So, take a moment to centre yourself with a few therapeutic breaths and then with intention express 5 things that you’re grateful for. If you’re struggling to think of anything then your senses can really help. Remember how you savoured throughout the day and you can express your gratitude for the colours or beauty that you saw, or the fragrances or food you could smell. The sound of the music or the children playing. I know the same sound of the children may have driven you crazy earlier BUT reframing your experiences into a gratitude moment is necessary to change your experience from negative to positive.

Remember only YOU have the power to change your experiences and cultivating the attitude of gratitude is more powerful than you think. So I’ll start you off and you can finish this sentence ~ today I’m grateful for …

Love and blessings to you, always,

Sam

I could write a whole book on Meditation.  There are so many different kinds of meditation that can be used for different reasons. For the purpose of this blog and simple effective practice however, I’m mainly going to refer to a type of medication called concentrative meditation but also with some reference to open awareness meditation.

So, let’s just deal with the misconception that during meditation you have to empty your mind … come on, seriously? This is almost impossible! As I’ve mentioned before, it’s helpful to see your conscious state as a vast ocean and the thoughts as the waves that are constantly present. Of course, our sea of consciousness can be quite choppy, due to the weather (we all have to weather the storms of life), and the waves (thoughts) often come crashing in with great force. We can sometimes barely keep our heads above water to take a breath and stop ourselves from drowning. Other times, our sea of consciousness is quieter and more peaceful.

The aim with meditation is to take a journey to a more peaceful state of consciousness, but the aim of mindfulness is to notice exactly where you are, but without judgement, while extending kindness towards yourself, which then helps to bring a level of acceptance. It doesn’t mean we accept when we’re spiralling into a negative mindset, but we simply notice it with kindness and acknowledge the reasons why it’s occurring, and if possible clear the negative energy that has connected itself to that experience for you. 

Simple reflective awareness can often be all that we need to enter into a conscious awareness of freedom. I find EFT Tapping an invaluable tool to use with meditation as when we notice what rises up for us, we can tap on the issues to clear them, resulting in a sense of freedom and a peaceful state of being. The vocal prompts in EFT also validate how we’re feeling, which is often all we need to be able to feel understood and then move forward. We simply need to self-validate that this is how this situation made us feel, and that’s ok. Although the feelings may not have been ok, and it may not serve us very well  to continue to respond in a certain way, if we don’t acknowledge what was actually happening then we’ll struggle to move on from it and clear that negative reaction. If, for example, we’ve had a negative reaction to the way someone has acted or something they’ve said, then only we can do something about that. Often, people who speak carelessly or hurtfully won’t be targeting you personally, as the individual will probably behave like that with almost everyone. They can only function from the level of self-awareness that they have and may not yet have the insight and ability to change their behaviour. They may also be aware of how they are responding but simply feel unable to change their behaviour at this point in their lives. We’re all on a journey!

Meditation may well bring to light behaviours that you also have that you weren’t aware of. When you do suddenly gain conscious awareness of your own unhelpful behaviours, you may also find that you’re not able to change those behaviours straight away either. That’s ok though, as awareness unlocks the key to our field of consciousness and then our empowered ability to move towards positive change.

Meditation enhances our inner ability to respond to situations in life. What or who you meditate on is what can make the difference for you. Maybe take a moment to reflect on this in your own experience. Who or what is at the centre of your life? Do you have someone or something that anchors you?

When you practice meditation, it can be a purely secular and practical experience, or it can be an avenue of spiritual awareness or connection as well. In my case I experience both. As a Christian I believe that God is at the centre of everything I do, as my awareness of God is first in my mind and my behaviour influenced by Jesus’ teaching and example. Jesus told his disciples that after him God would send a ‘comforter’ who is the spirit of God within, who gives enlightenment, or the awareness of God, and direction to our lives if we want or need it. I might therefore meditate on the words in my Bible, in prayer for myself and others and sometimes just be still and experience some degree of what the bible describes as God’s peace which passes all understanding. I also meditate to regulate my general response to life’s stressors, better manage my emotions and improve my mental and physical wellbeing.

If you have spiritual awareness, then no doubt it is an intricate part of your daily living experience. You don’t need to meditate to access it but it’s a very welcome addition to a meditation practice as you can transcend your natural experience to a deeper and higher spiritual realm

Open awareness medication

So, let’s look briefly at open awareness meditation. It is sitting quietly and being aware of what you can hear, feel, smell and see (whether your eyes are open or closed).  Avoid attaching any judgment to what comes to mind, just simply notice it. Open awareness is effectively letting the world in rather than focussing on a specific object, sound, phrase etc.  This will help you to remain peaceful despite what you encounter.

For example, I’ve sat down many a time to meditate and a neighbour at that very moment cranks up their noisy power tools. As perfect as it is to have a peaceful environment, it’s not always possible, so we also need to learn to be at peace regardless of any noisy distractions. As a result of us letting the world in whilst in a relaxed state, open awareness meditation produces more creativity within us.

Concentrative meditation

Concentrative meditation combined with open awareness is concentrating on an object, phrase (mantra), sound etc whilst allowing yourself to be aware, with acceptance, of what is happening around you. So, why don’t we practice that now?

• Sitting comfortably on the floor or in a chair. You can sit however you feel comfortable; it does not have to be the lotus position. Use cushions to support your comfort. Try to sit with good posture. A nice straight spine with shoulders back and down. It can feel uncomfortable to start with as we’re used to slouching when we sit, so sitting up straight needs to be done with intention.
• With or without some gentle background music start to take a few deep breaths in and out. Use your breath to initially anchor yourself to the present moment.  It’s good to start with the therapeutic breath technique I mentioned in an earlier blog to centre yourself. Then throughout the meditation if you find your mind wandering you can return to your anchoring breath. Otherwise, once the meditation has started then you can let your breath enter and leave the body naturally. The more you have practiced your breathing, the easier you will find it to connect to and it will slow down quite naturally as soon as your meditation starts.
• Choose what you are going to concentrate or focus on. It can be a mantra such as ‘I am at peace’ ‘I am loved’ ‘I am confident’.  Always repeat the phrase as though it already is. Not ‘I wish I was peaceful’ or ‘I want to be confident’. Speak it out or think it as though you already are so you can speak it into every fibre of your being!
• Or you can repeat a sound or word in another language. Like ‘Shalom’.  Shalom means peace in Hebrew and the sound ‘Om’ at the end is said to signify our connection to the Universe and everything within it. “Nothing in life has any meaning except the meaning you give it” so connect with yourself and only practice what YOU feel comfortable with.
• You can also light a candle and gaze at the candle flame. It’s a beautiful practice called ‘Trataka’ where you bring your gaze to the flame and use that as your focus. Try not to blink but don’t worry if you do, just keep gazing. Daily candle gazing not only helps your meditation practice to develop but can bring similar results to meditation as improved memory, clarity of thinking, calmer responses and improved eye health. It’s a fabulous mindfulness practice and one of my personal favourites.

You only need to aim to do this for 5 minutes each day to start with and then build up to 5 minutes three times a day. If you find you can go longer then great but it’s better to do shorter daily practices, then just one long practice a week. Consider on a Saturday or a Sunday to set apart a specific longer time. If you work weekends, then consider your day off in the week. Remember this is a special time FOR YOU! Don’t view it as a chore!

Look forward to this time, be patient and you will be surprised at what you will experience given time and practice.

It’s really important that you don’t compare the meditations. Just be curious about what rises up for you and be ok with it. I’ve had meditation sessions where I have been bombarded by thoughts (a real tumultuous stormy sea experience) and other times I have been enlightened with such peace and connection with myself and God that it has been nothing short of transcendental. Light illuminates my whole body, mind and soul and suddenly everything within myself is touched by a deep sense of peace and love. Do I compare the experiences? No!

I accept where I’m at on any given day. Sometimes I’m sad and I cry, sometimes I’m numb, sometimes I’m peaceful and happy and sometimes I’m overcrowded! Really, it’s all good and that’s life. Don’t judge yourself harshly! Cultivate kindness to yourself and others.

I hope you’ve found this helpful, and I’ll see you next week!

Love & blessings,

Sam xx

I love this practice.  Spiritual guru and peace activist Thich Nhat Hanh said,

“We have to walk in a way that we only print peace and serenity on the Earth … be aware of the contact between your feet and the earth. Walk as if you are kissing the earth with your feet”

Mindful walking is like ‘meditation on the go’.  It’s an open awareness meditation and whether you’re sitting or walking, meditation is known to improve your quality of sleep, reduce stress and anxiety and provide a deeper connection to yourself. It improves your memory, concentration and problem-solving abilities and enhances your relationship skills. Although seated meditation has its obvious benefits, mindful walking has some different kinds of benefits, so a combination of both is good. Also, mindful walking can be done at any time when you are walking.

It gets you out of your head when your thoughts become all-consuming and actively engages you with all of your senses. You have to be aware of where you’re walking, what your feet are walking on, the colours, sights, smells and sounds around you. It fully connects you to the world around us of which we are a part. If we are within walking distance of a park or other places of nature then walking with mindful connection can bring healing to our mind, body and souls. It can also give us an opportunity to connect with spirit and the Higher Self, whatever that means for you.

As I mentioned last week in the body scan, we can often not give our bodies much attention, so mindful walking is another way to connect with our bodies by bringing conscious awareness to our movements and how our body feels. How we walk and the gentle rhythm of the steps we take. Sometimes we may start off by pacing as we escape from where we are coming from but through conscious practice we can connect in with the body and start to slow down the pace and express gratitude to our bodies for carrying us around every day.

Mindful walking can also be full of distractions such as other walkers, traffic, sounds of the hustle and bustle of life, so these need to be incorporated into your walk without judgement. Remember the quote above ‘walk in a way that brings peace and serenity to the earth’. So, without judgement and with kindness you just notice the distractions and then bring your focus back to your walking and the present moment. Again, as we walk we can often wonder how we got from A to B as we were so busy thinking about a problem or a situation.

If you give yourself time to get out of your head and especially connect with nature, then so often the solution or response to the problem or situation will come to you.

Walking is something most of us do almost every day, so it’s a great way to develop your mindfulness practice. If you’re struggling at the moment, then it can be quite difficult to go out for a walk as you may not be motivated so walk round your house or round the garden. I have a small garden with very little space to walk around but I still walk around it a few times to feel the cool breeze against my face and experience how secure I am on the earth. I breathe deeply in and out and gaze at the sky or the trees & plants in the garden. I listen to the birds singing and the sound of the cars on the busy main road that drive by near our house. It’s by no means a perfect environment, but it doesn’t need to be. Life is not perfect and that’s ok. If we wait until it is then we’ll be forever waiting and actually the more you practice mindfulness the more your life feels pretty near perfect just as it is. It’s about bringing yourself fully present to the moment with gratitude, acceptance, kindness and non-judgement.

The ethos behind mindfulness practice is all about kindness towards yourself and others. It takes courage to acknowledge how you’re feeling and then be gentle, patient and kind towards yourself.

When we’re walking in nature, with practice, we often find that our minds become quieter and the natural connection of energy between all living things can bring a sense of pure awareness. When experiencing such awareness, past and future concerns melt away and only the present moment is experienced. That’s mindfulness!

Enjoy your mindful walking and I’ll see you next week!

Love & blessings, Sam

One of the ways you can cherish and care for your body is by laying down and bringing gentle awareness to how your body is feeling using the body scan exercise. Because you lay down to do the body scan it can feel like its purpose is only to relax the body. Although it is a generally relaxing exercise to do, it is more about placing your attention on each different part of your body and being aware of how they feel, without initially changing anything. Of course, during a body scan you become aware of how your body feels and then you can breathe into any areas of discomfort to release any tension and any emotional or mental attachment. Allow yourself to acknowledge and sit with how the body feels first before rushing to let go of the tension. Our bodies can communicate a lot to us, but sometimes we simply don’t take the time to listen.

Try following this (you can have gentle music playing in the background if you wish, but I’d advise against ear or headphones for this practice as you need to listen to your body)

~ Lay down on your bed or on the floor with your arms by your side and bring your attention to your breath. 

~ Closing your eyes take a few deep breaths in and out.

~ Now bring your attention to the top of your head and start scanning through the top, back and sides of the head, including the ears, nose, eyes and mouth. Soften as you go taking some slow comfortable breaths.

~ Lighten the expression on your face. Soften your jaw. Relax your facial muscles and the muscles around the eyes. Smooth out the worry lines on your forehead after paying attention to how they felt and what they may represent to you. Were you frowning and why? Acknowledge it and send your self kindness. As you let the frown go maybe consider letting go of the issue that caused the frown, or at least the tension surrounding it.

~ Notice your neck and throat, how they feel and soften them. Put some gentle movement though the neck by gently moving your head from side to side.

~ Notice how your shoulders and arms feel and release any tension. Drop the shoulders back and down, and if you’re lying on the floor, intentionally draw the shoulders back to the floor. Moving slowly down the arms one at a time, again notice how they feel. From the shoulder, the elbow and into the hands. Notice your hands. If your hands feel tense allow them to soften.

~ Bring your attention into your chest and notice the chest as it rises and falls as you breathe naturally in and out. We’re not going to be too concerned about our breath, let it simply enter and leave the body naturally.

~ Moving down into the stomach area, notice how your tummy feels and sensations from within.  If your tummy is tense or tight, let it soften. Take a breath.

~ Travel round the back and from the tops of the shoulders gently scan through the back, again, simply noticing how the back feels and breathe into any areas of tension or soreness.

~ Continue to scan through the hips and buttocks, travelling down each leg one at a time noticing any sensations and breathe into them.  Although the heart is the hardest working muscle in the body the leg muscles and the glutes are the largest as they hold your body erect and carry you around each day. As you scan down each leg send some kindness and gratitude to them. Believe me, they need it!

~ Notice the knees and ankles, again breathing into these. Finishing at the feet, where we began. Spreading out the toes once again and noticing if they feel different from the first-time round.

~ Now notice your whole-body present and take another deep breath in and out. Bring gentle awareness to the whole of your body and take another breath in and out. When you’re ready, you can open your eyes.

If you’re taking a break at work, you can do this practice sitting on a chair and feel the weight of your body on the chair. Notice your back against the chair and how your feet feel planted on the ground. If you can remove your shoes and spread out the toes and bring your attention to the toes, you can slowly scan through. Send some kindness and gratitude to the feet acknowledging that they carry you around every day.

This mindful body scan can be done in around 5-10minutes if you’re at work and time is an issue, or if you have more time you can take 30 or so minutes. It’s really up to you. You can even just take sections of the body and simply scan gently through them. Listen to your body and what it is communicating to you and acknowledge the message. Sometimes we neglect our bodies and then when they can become ill, we ignore their cry for help.

They are the sacred vessel that carry you around every day, so take some time to love and accept them and treat them with kindness. Again, start small and celebrate even the tiniest changes that you are able to make.

I look forward to seeing you next week and I pray that you find some peace in each day.

Love & blessings, Sam 🥰

Combining meditation and prayer is such an empowering and centering practice and sometimes during a time of prayer and meditation I will state out loud some of the names of God. If we state (especially out loud) how amazing and wonderful God is and repeat the Names of God, like a mantra, it is reinforcing His powerful attributes in our own lives. I don’t say all these names every day. Sometimes I don’t say them at all, but you can choose one or two that you feel resonate with your daily need. Like your meditation practice you can ‘meditate’ on these words and their meanings. So let’s briefly look at some of the names of God and what they can mean for YOU!

Elohim – Mighty One with Incredible Power! Maybe you need wisdom and a solution to a problem.

Abba – The Most Intimate One! The one who cares and can be trusted. Translates into ‘Father’. Maybe you’ve been let down or hurt and you need to know that someone cares.

El Elyon – The God Above ALL! Above ALL Gods, above ALL darkness in the world, above ALL your problems and struggles. Gives us the strength to stand knowing that we are not carrying our problems alone.

Jehovah Rapha – God our healer! Brings us comfort and hope for restoration of our bodies, minds, souls. Or for the lives of those we love.

El Roi – The God who See’s All! The one who watches over us with goodness. Sometimes we just need to know that SOMEONE see’s what is happening to us and what we’re going through, right?

Yahweh – The One who Holds Great Power! Derived from the Hebrew word ‘I AM’ … There is great power in stating the ‘I AM’ in your life ….  Power to curse or create. You can either state:

“I am depressed … I am angry … I am suicidal … I am not worth anything” 

OR you can use the creative power of the I AM to say:

“I am happy … I am wonderfully made … I am full of joy … I am confident … I am abundant” 

It’s important to speak good things into your life as though they already are. Many people who do not profess a Faith in God, as such, do connect in with the creative power of the I AM of His universe, as Gods creative power is a powerful life force that is in the fabric of His whole creation. Personally, if the option is available, I’d rather connect with the Creator OF the Universe as you may as well get to know the One who spoke it all into being. Otherwise, for me, it’s a bit like talking to a beautiful piece of art hanging on the wall and not noticing or acknowledging that the artist is stood right there. The art is the created piece and the artist is the creator!

El Shaddai – The Almighty God who Gives us Security! We can find refuge and shelter in Him. To escape in the spiritual realm to the arms of God is a place of inner comfort.

Jehovah Jireh – God our Provider! When we’re financially struggling it’s especially important to pray this name. Stand on this name and speak abundance and provision into your life.

Jehovah Shalom – The God of Peace! Peace that transcends ALL understanding. I pray and meditate on the word ‘Shalom’ most days.  

The mantra ‘Om’ is often chanted by people from a variety of beliefs and faiths as it is considered to be the Universal Name of God. Shal-om connects this name of God to His attribute of peace.

Now lift your day in prayer by simply praying for protection and wisdom. If you have a specific need or problem, you can pray about that. But when you pray, pray as though what you hope for is GOING TO HAPPEN. Remember Faith is:

believing without seeing

You only need the faith of a mustard seed to move a mountain, right?

So for example, consider wording your prayer,

“I lift my daughter’s surgery to you today and thank you that she is protected and will be peaceful throughout. Thank you that you will guide the hand of the surgeon and that the surgery will be successful, and she will make a quick recovery and that there will be no complications. I commit my daughter into your loving arms”

rather than;

“I pray for my daughter’s surgery and beg you to intervene, please don’t let her get an infection, I’m so worried that there will be complications, please help her and help me, I’m so anxious about this today, I don’t know what I’ll do if anything bad happens to her”.

Do you see the difference? In life bad things happen and often to the most innocent, nicest and kindest people. But it’s more likely to go well if we focus on the good outcome that we want. Believing that the source of love and goodness wants that for us too. Of course it’s incredibly difficult if despite trying to do the right thing the bad things still happen. It can seem that our prayers are not answered. Living with seemingly unanswered questions is mentally and emotionally challenging, to say the least!

Remember the Names of God this week and maybe glance up to heaven. I’ll guarantee you’ll make your heavenly fathers heart skip a beat ❤

Love and blessings, Sam

♡ it’s NOT a selfish practice

Mindfulness has sometimes been misunderstood as a selfish practice that’s all about bringing your attention to what YOU’RE doing in the present moment so that YOU can simply think about YOU all the time! By contrast, the ethos and basis of practicing right mindfulness is about caring for yourself, reducing and overcoming harmful influences, and being compassionate to yourself first as well as to others. Yes, that’s right, to yourself first but THEN you will be more present for others and those you care about. There is a lot of suffering in the world and you may not be able to do much to alleviate the suffering of many of the people you see or meet, but sometimes a simple kindness towards the individual, whether in word or an intentional kind thought or prayer hoping for the alleviation of their suffering, is often all we can do. Sending a silent prayer, a kind thought, a smile or practical help if we’re able is right mindfulness. As we develop our practice, we’ll understand our need for setting our intention and will see the difference between becoming more present and self-aware and not just self-absorbed.

♡ it’s NOT just a buddhist practice

Although mindfulness may have been taught by Buddhists it is not exclusive to any belief system. It is a natural skill /technique that when practiced can enrich your life. There are many very natural processes like deep breathing, prayer and nourishing stretching exercises (such as Yoga) that have been brought into many belief systems as ‘good practices’ as the benefits are clear. It doesn’t make them exclusive though … it just makes them good practices. Whatever your faith or belief, only YOU carry within your heart the focus of your faith/belief. My hearts focus on a daily basis, in whatever I do, is on God through Jesus. He’s at my centre and the strong foundation that keeps me grounded when the storms of life come. So, mindfulness can be practiced by anyone with any faith, belief or philosophy. To believe otherwise is to limit a very natural avenue of the full expression of human experience.

♡ it’s NOT just meditation

Anyone who has attended one of my classes or events will have heard me say “mindfulness is like meditation on the go”.  In my experience, many of the benefits of mindfulness are very similar to those achieved from meditation, and certainly meditation is part of the practice of mindfulness. Unless you’re meditating on unwholesome thoughts of course, and then you’re back to no.1 with the question of intention and the ethos around caring. Mindfulness is always ethically correct and seeks to do no harm to you or others. I would say that if I’m stuck in a traffic queue or stood in line in a grocery store then I do start to practice mindfulness and it’s a very similar practice to open awareness meditation. Whereby you are being consciously aware of your thoughts and what you are sensing, but without judgment. It’s about being focused on the task at hand yet being aware of everything else that you’re thinking and sensing, and allowing those thoughts and experiences to drift by calmly.

♡ it’s NOT just a relaxation practice

Yes, mindfulness practice can result in feeling more relaxed and less stressed and anxious but sometimes it can be quite challenging to stop and bring yourself to the present moment, especially if the present moment is stressful.  Sometimes as we allow ourselves to be open to how we’re feeling and thinking at any given time, without judgement, we can face memories or thoughts that initially cause us to feel quite anxious. But one of the aims of mindfulness is to face, process and clear emotional and mental issues that may be robbing us of a more enriched life. It can be uncomfortable, but ultimately worth it as we learn how to self soothe when needed and again approach ourselves with kindness and non-judgement.  So, whether it’s a happy or a sad moment, learning how to sit with the experience with compassion and openness, and accept the ‘as is’ will help you to make peace with your life. It does not mean that you have to accept a bad thing that’s happened to you as though it’s ok, it means that you accept where you are in life at that moment. Maybe the process will highlight that you need further support and healing … and that’s ok!

♡ it’s NOT just achieving a quiet mind

If mindfulness was just achieving a quiet mind, I’d have to say that I haven’t achieved it yet! Although that’s not entirely true as I do experience a quieter mind and peaceful states of bliss at times. But not all the time. I think many people give up on attempting to practice mindfulness or meditation as they are under the misconception that they are needing to ‘empty their minds,’ which is of course not possible. It’s about noticing your thoughts and seeking to not judge them or have an emotional attachment to them. If however, you’re doing an intentional guided relaxation and you are imagining beautiful thoughts or a beautiful place then absolutely YES you should think it, feel it, taste it and focus fully on the nourishing thoughts at their deepest level. They will send a surge of well-being through your body, physically, mentally and emotionally.

When referring to negative and unpleasant thoughts that we have, however, if we ruminate on and allow ourselves to attach a strong negative emotion to these, this will rob us of our peace. So, a useful picture is to see your consciousness as a vast ocean and your thoughts are the waves. Sometimes the conscious ocean is very choppy and stormy. The waves (thoughts) are thrashing and turbulent. If you were attempting to swim with those waves you’d probably drown as you would simply not be able to keep your head above the water. That’s a really helpful picture of when our thoughts are busy and tumultuous …. we sometimes feel like we’re drowning in them.

However, the aim when practicing mindfulness and meditation is to calm that sea of thoughts. If you tried to catch a wave in your hand you would never be able to, would you? Attempting to catch our thoughts can be similar. It takes practice.  So, simply notice the thoughts with kindness and non-judgement (even if the thoughts are not very pleasant). Allow yourself to be in the moment, accepting where you are at, and with practice your inner sea will become calmer. If it doesn’t initially because the stress of the situation is just too intense, then simply notice that and be ok with it. Maybe consider doing some EFT Tapping on any issues that have risen up for you (another book in my SAMIJOS series), and then notice the difference as you return to your mindfulness practice.

♡ it’s NOT necessary to always be in a quiet place

Some feel that when practicing mindfulness, to be fully aware and to  feel the sensory sensations of the body, then a place of complete quietness is needed. I would agree that taking ourselves to a peaceful place from time to time for quiet reflection and a break from the busyness of everyday life, is beneficial and in fact essential. If you’re just starting your mindful practice, then I’d say it’s a particularly good idea. If your practice was purely within this kind of setting though then I’d say it was more a meditation practice, which of course is an aspect of mindfulness and an excellent addition to your life. For maximum benefit though, a full mindfulness experience should be practiced any time, any place and whether it’s quiet or not. That is, after all, real life!

♡ it’s NOT about escaping reality

When life is complex and challenging then a way to escape from the stress and often unsettling aspects of life is important. Hence why scheduling holidays or weekend breaks are helpful to stop, relax and be refreshed. Not everyone can afford holidays or weekend breaks though so the need to escape becomes more intense. Drugs and alcohol can become an avenue for this need to escape, but this can become very destructive in more ways than one. I myself used both routes at different times in my life, and at first they seemed enjoyable and appeared to bring about the desired outcome. I still had to face the trials of my daily life when their effects had worn off and the coming back to reality was even more intense as I hadn’t processed well why I was feeling the way I felt about my life. You then also have to deal with the hangovers and withdrawals which undermine your well-being further, and the very real and more dangerous aspects of addiction that can destroy your life (and potentially damage the lives of those you love).

Mindfulness can sometimes be seen as a route to escape life’s struggles and concerns. It’s certainly a healthier route than alcohol and drugs. A similar view is given to practicing meditation, and I can see why. As you practice mindfulness there is an aspect of taking your mind off your problems to be in the present moment, such as leaving a busy office and walking through the park at lunch time. You walk, and you feel how your feet feel connecting with the ground. How does your body feel? Do you have any tension that you can breathe through and release? What can you see? The flowers and the trees, the different colours, shapes, sizes and smells. The sky, the sun, the grass … breathing in and out and fully connecting with the moment, does serve to give us an escape from a busy office. It helps us to go back with a clearer mind, somewhat refreshed and feeling ready to re-enter the day. Mindfulness has aspects of escapism, but it is more concerned with becoming better connected with who you are and how you feel about your life. Facing, even if it’s uncomfortable, the issues that you may have buried within you and processing them in a way that brings you greater personal freedom and connection with the world. Sometimes this experience can signpost you to the realisation that you need further help through therapy/life coaching etc. Mindfulness is not a cure, it’s a tool!

I do hope you found that helpful ☺. Join me next week and we’ll look at more ways to benefit from mindfulness,

Love & blessings, Sam xx

(I’ve adapted today’s blog from a chapter in my book on Mindfulness. If you want to find out more then see image below and find me on Amazon 📚☺)

Sometimes I think that I should write something REALLY motivational and uplifting and release the Life Coach in me onto the world BUT, for some reason I’m not feeling that for this season. Sure, saying positive affirmations, listening to motivational speakers and having someone on your side to coach you forward through to the next step is important. It helps us to keep our focus in the right place, at the right time. It can help us to get unstuck when we feel as though we’ve become stuck in a negative circumstance or way of being. Maybe we’ve become stuck in an unhelpful way of thinking or seeing things. I read this quote today and it spoke quite deeply to me;

Sometimes when things are falling apart, they may actually be falling into place

This really spoke to me as like everyone else I have my own personal journey to walk within this global pandemic and as we’ve established in a previous blog, we may be in the same sea but we’re not in the same boat, right? We also have different personality types and these can often play a large role in our ‘personal reality’ . There is no room for judgement or shame as we consider who we are and how we respond to situations and people. YOU are who YOU are! Yes, we need to be open to grow so being aware of who you are and how you respond to people and situations is necessary for you to discover your authentic self and then ensure you are growing in line with your personal values. So a large part of becoming unstuck is having the courage to face yourself and acknowledge who you are OR who you’ve become. Life situations can change us and not always for the better. Painful life situations tend to only change us for the better if we let them. If we have the courage to face them and the emotions that they trigger within us. It can be painful and as humans our key motivations to change are to move towards pleasure or away from pain. But sometimes we need to face the initial pain to be free from it in the future and our ‘personal reality’ can change.

Here in the UK our Government has begun to outline our exit plans as the Lockdown rules begin to lift. At this stage, we, none of us know how this is going to work out. We can only hope and pray that as we step into this next season that, as the quote above says, that things in our lives will actually start to fall into place. I obviously do not know how this last years pandemic has affected you personally. No-one truly does, apart from you, and that’s ok. It may seem glib to say it’s ok, when in reality when bad stuff happens, it’s really NOT ok, but it is a part of life. But you do have to come to a place of acceptance that this IS where you are right now and as difficult as it is you are stronger than you think and you will find a new way forward. So, here are a few helpful tips that do increase your sense of well-being.

If you’re really struggling with depression during this time, for reasons that may not be related to lockdown at all but have been exacerbated by it then I really do appreciate that doing ANY of the things on the list will be difficult. So for you I would say, please be gentle and kind to yourself and take each day as it comes. Yes one of the ways we can change the way we feel and our state of mind is by doing something that breaks a pattern of behaviour, but depending on where you’re at, you might need to be at peace with your small achievements as feeling bad about what you haven’t done will not work for you, at all!! So let’s have a look at the tips and do what you can do to help yourself, and be your own best friend. Only YOU can truly help YOU, but YOU have to acknowledge where YOU are at, ok?

• Stop and breathe and give yourself time to reflect ~ consider quiet meditation.
• If any unsettling emotions come up then have the courage to look at them and consider EFT Tapping & prayer to work through them (see a previous blog on EFT).
• Seek out the resources you need to support your journey, such as guided relaxations, music, online information or support.
• Reach out to family and friends for support or a listening ear ~ a problem shared really is a problem halved.
• If you can’t reach out to family and friends then reach out to support groups or other local groups. Or even book to see a counsellor, a therapist or a life coach.
• Limit your alcohol consumption. I’m not trying to be a killjoy but alcohol only masks and numbs how you’re feeling, which, yes, does seem to help at the time but can create a shed load of other problems.
• Get out into nature and take those walks and breathe in the beauty of God’s creation.
• Try to revisit a hobby you once loved or start a new one and lose yourself in the creativity.
• Watch or listen to something that makes you laugh and release those happy endorphins.
• Remember that your gut health and diet plays a big part in your moods and overall well-being.
• Look at your sleep hygiene and actually do what you know you need to do to aid a restful sleep.
• And of course the list would not be complete without mentioning exercise. We really all do need to take some form of daily exercise to become unstuck and healthier.

I’ve told many of you nothing that you don’t already know but sometimes we can know something but not do anything about what we know. So maybe there’s one thing in the list that you heard yourself say “yes, I already know that” but you haven’t done anything about it yet. Well, let’s start there!

As always, love and blessings to you all, and I’ll see you next week, Sam xx

Throughout most of my life I have been waiting for the moment when I will spread my wings and fly, and I’ve longed so desperately for it! I see so many people around me displaying their beauty as they appear to embrace their gifting either through work, hobbies, family or calling, as I seemingly continue to stumble through life wondering if I’ll ever discover what my thing (or gift) is. Have you ever felt like that? When you move into the 2nd half of life (after 50) then you can begin to lose hope of ever finding it. We often look to the day when we will arrive at the thing that we were created to do, not realising that the journey WAS the thing! Of course in reality life has never really been about what you did or what you achieved, or about material gain, although some do have that as their measure for success and happiness.

Life’s journey has always been the thing that we were supposed to appreciate and notice all those moments of wonder and blessing, even amidst the painful and confusing times. To transform into the butterfly that spreads its wings and flies we have to do the slow, often painful journey of first being the caterpillar. The caterpillar is us when we feel like we’re getting nowhere fast and often consuming and taking on board knowledge and experiences that seem to fill us so full that we can barely lift our heads to see anything but the step in front of us. On that journey, if we’re wise, we’ll sometimes stop, reflect and shed our skin and rid ourselves of anything that we know is not helping our journey, whether it’s habits or negative and limiting beliefs we have about ourselves.

Then we arrive at that place where we go into our chrysalis (cocoon) and start to change. That place of transformation can seem dark and lonely at times and at other times feel safe and soothing. But the transformation to another version of yourself is a struggle and very often involves pain, heart ache and not a little bit of confusion. It seems to take forever and can be exhausting, so it’s essential that time is taken whereby we simply rest in our cocoon, stop kicking and fighting to get out of it, and know that something good is happening within all of that struggle even if we can’t see it at the time. They say that if you see a butterfly wriggling and struggling to get out of the cocoon and you try to help it by cutting the chrysalis and setting it free it can die as the process of transformation hasn’t been completed. So friends and family can’t really get us out of our struggle either, as much as we’d like them to, and conversely we can’t get them out of theirs. We can support each other of course and be a shoulder to cry on and a listening ear when someone needs to talk. We can help them in practical ways, but in general we all have to go through our struggles and know that that is a part of life. Yes I know, it really does suck at times, and it often doesn’t seem fair. Some seem to go through far more difficulties than others don’t they? And maybe you’re one of those, and if that’s the case then I feel for you and I’m holding a gentle space of kindness for you, and that’s what you need to do for yourself. Hold yourself in a space of love and kindness and say,

One day this too will pass, and my time will come. The cocoon will open and I will emerge more beautiful and vibrant than I ever could have imagined and I will fly ~ yes ~ I will fly!

So please don’t give up and die in that cocoon before your transformation has been complete as some butterflies sadly do. There are a number of reasons why that can happen. They could be too cold … they could have a parasite … the skin of the chrysalis can be dried out. We can again see the parallels in our own lives can’t we? Our difficult experiences can cause us to harden our hearts and become indifferent and cold. We can become infected by a parasitical thought process that eats away at our well-being, or we can simply stop nourishing and caring for ourselves. Let’s not end this blog on that note! I want you to know that I understand how difficult life can be and how tempting it is to give up or do something self destructive as a result of the struggle. But keep going!! I will, if you will, ok? 🧡

Sending you lots of love and blessings, and I look forward to seeing you next week,

Sam xx

This is a concept that in many ways needs no explanation. We all understand the idea around ‘loving one another’ and because we feel love towards our family, friends and meaningful others involuntarily (for the most part) then we consider ourselves loving as we readily pour our love into those special relationships, and that in itself is beautiful. Love is a powerful force for good and when we embrace it in a more intentional way brings blessing not only into our lives but also into the lives of those around us and ultimately spreads throughout our society and across the earth.

Who wouldn’t prefer, or want, to live in a world that was full of life-giving love? But true love is more than a feeling. It’s a decision we have to make each day to love when we either don’t feel like it or we actually feel the opposite emotion towards someone. Fear can cause people not to love. Fear is at the root of so many of our negative emotions and experiences. It has been described as False Evidence Appearing Real because it is often based on deception and lies and is often the result of an experience you had that formed an incorrect belief within you. It’s damaging! A fear of rejection causes us to reject others first and push others away. A fear of not being worth anything causes us to elevate ourselves above others and push others away. A fear of being walked over and feeling weak causes us to defend ourselves and our rights and push others away. A fear that we are wrong in some way causes us to have to be right regardless of the consequences and ultimately push others away. A fear that we are unlovable causes us to limit our expression of love to others and push others away.

Can you see how much fear hinders our expression of love towards others and ultimately towards ourselves? There is an antidote to fear and that is LOVE!

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

1 John 4:18

If we’re punishing ourselves and others by choosing not to love then that will ultimately negatively effect your sense of self and your well-being. I say choose because it really is a choice that we can make. We can choose to see the best in others and consider that the frosty response we get from the sales assistant or friend is because they’re probably struggling with something in their lives. They say that …

Hurting people, hurt people

So for the sake of your well-being and for the health of our society and the world consider choosing love today as your response to everyone. Try it ~ smile at everyone, be kind to people even if they’re frosty towards you and choose love and not only will YOU feel better but that simple act of loving kindness will change the atmosphere for everyone!

Blessings to you and I’ll see you next week!

Love YOU! Sam xx

This morning, after my coffee, I could not wait to get on my mat! A few days had passed and I’d not made time for my yoga practice and my body felt tired and achy. Hubby working from home, supporting our adult kids with Autism and our 3rd daughter home-schooling I was also feeling emotionally and mentally drained and knew that the one thing I must definitely NOT stop doing is my yoga. Of course any exercise is good to do right? I also like to walk, ride my bike, lift hand weights, dance and do callanetics, but the holistic nature of yoga makes that a staple for me. Something tucked away in my well-being toolkit!

As a Christian, however, I’m careful to ensure that I’m not involved in any aspects of yoga that don’t align with my faith, and focus on the therapeutic breathwork, physical alignment, flexibility and strength training. I also love the balancing nature of yoga as an exercise as it nourishes you mentally, emotionally and physically; and if you’re like me and place great value on your spiritual awareness and growth then it’s a beautiful way to bring greater focus, peace and personal closeness with God, our creator and Heavenly Father. Of course many people practice Yoga without the ‘God’ bit and find it balancing and grounding, amongst all the other benefits I just mentioned.

Another benefit of yoga is that it can be practised at any age and level. Some of the Yoga postures are super simple to do but bring great blessings to our well-being, including improving our posture, aiding restful sleep and alleviating stress and anxiety. You simply need to take your time, listen to your body and only do what your body feels ready to do. Correct alignment and posture is so important throughout. For example, when standing, your feet are parallel, making sure your shoulders are back and down, hips pushed slightly forward, pelvis tipped with knees aligned over ankles. So, when you choose a yoga practice, always consider the importance of safe practice and please don’t overstrain ~ your body will get there when it’s ready!

Use your breath as you practice. If you scroll through my blogs you’ll find one on the therapeutic breath and how to practice. With practice, not only will you improve physically but you will also learn how to calm your mind and soothe your emotions, as you connect in with yourself and create some awareness of how the body, mind and emotions are feeling. We honour those feelings and then process and let go of anything that is not supporting us. We also have the opportunity to express gratitude to our bodies as they carry us around everyday, and give them the much needed love and attention that they need.

In case you’ve never done Yoga and wouldn’t know where to start, I’ve added a link below to a heartwarming Yoga practice.

Grace x Strength’s teachings are both soothing and down to earth. There’s a gentleness about them that I like and they teach yoga sessions at differing levels so I’m sure you’ll find something that will be just what you need. I haven’t watched or practised them all so I can’t say with confidence that I fully align with everything they may offer, but like everything in life, you just find what suits you and your needs. Only practice what you feel at peace with and let your inner peace be your guide! Even if you decide not to ‘do yoga’, as such, I still encourage you to take some time to breathe and stretch with intention everyday ~ even just for a few minutes ~ your body, mind and emotions will …

thank you

Stretch our YOUR stresses today! Have a nourishing week.

Love and blessings to you, Sam xx